Saturday, September 27, 2008

A UVA Law Blog Investigative Report: Who's At the Library at 10PM, Saturday Night

1) Undergrads.  Presumably from Copely, often of Asian decent.  You can tell they are undergrads because of their glossy textbooks, with colorful pictures.  Also present is the TI-89 scientific graphing calculator, which made us nostalgic for our college days where we (for a while) majored in physics.  If you get close, the conversation will turn to stress about "Mid-terms," whatever those are, and how tough it is to have a single exam that counts from 25% to 1/3 of your entire grade.  There might also be a subset who come to the law library because they think it's the "cool" thing to do.  Don't worry, pretty soon the librarians will put out those menacing "This Space Reserved for Law Students" sign, and you all will be on your way . . .  or not.  

2) Dude Reading a Novel.  I don't know who it is that, on a nasty day with some solid college football match-ups going on, decides to hall it up to North Grounds to read his novel, but I'm guessing it's an undergrad too.  Let us know how Confederacy of Dunces turns out, will you? 

3) Law Review Kids.  You'd think there'd be a break in the Easter bunny's wake.  THINK AGAIN.  These guys go hard all the time.  

4) 1Ls.  Remember the guy who said that if you didn't have your outlines DONE (and I mean HYPERLINKED AND EVERYTHING) by October you would be on a straight shot to four B-'s?  Well, somebody believed him, and he/she is here, slaving away at the library on a Saturday night, going over the Torts case book with five different color highlighters and an equal number of sticky tabs.  I guess we should concede that some people 1) have midterms and 2) want to get things done before foxfields tomorrow.   Plus, you can't take any chances . . . *especially in this economy*.  Like the undergrads they cluster.  Unlike the undergrads, they are not giggling and loudly consuming odorous snacks and beverages. 

5) A single student librarian. Just saying, if someone were intent on stealing books or stuff from the Lexis Lab (boxes and boxes of candy), he or she could do it pretty easily.  Thank G-d for teh honor code.

6) Other People Stuck with a Cite Check.  We mean secondary journal people, which someone once described as a pyramid scheme of misery.  Just xerox some stuff from a few different books, throw a paper clip on it, put everything in small caps, and use the track changes comments feature to (randomly) insert "Consider rewording" or "Does not follow" above the line (your Articles Editor will love you). 

7) Rule 12 f.  No life, plus a fast connection to the interwebs.  Also, gunning up a storm. 

8) The UVA Offense.  At least, they didn't bother to show up in Durham

PS: We took the image from the library website, no implication that those people - whoever they are - are here right now. 

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