Saturday, November 15, 2008

Bump This Post When the Redskins Win

Dallas. Washington. Euro-centric land-grab speculators versus the back-on-their-heels indgenous inhabitants. All that is evil versus all that is good. The Cowboys will be desperate realistically needing a win to keep their playoff hopes alive. Washington is banged up and will be relying on second- and, in some cases, third-string players to defend its territory, and number of wash-outs from other teams to fill in losses (like D'Angelo Hall from Oakland and Shaun Alexander from Seattle). Dallas by contrast has the stars (i.e. Tony Romo) back in action, all primed to reinvorgate the long-pass connection with Jason Witten and Terrel "I'm-a-massive-douchebag" Ownes.

Also, never forget what the Cowboys were doing while Darrel Green and Art Monk were giving their time and money to charity:
With the rare exception, the Cowboy who didn't hit the strip club circuit wasn't an accepted member of the team. The same goes for the Cowboy who didn't drink heavily and stay out late; the Cowboy who didn't slink toward the big-breasted hottie in the tight leather pants and strapless top; the Cowboy who didn't smoke a joint every now and then (or, in many case, just every now) . . . . If you were going to be a Dallas Cowboy - a real Dallas Cowboy - you needed to live The Life. That meant partying hard, partying late, and if you had the misfortune of being married, leaving your wife at home and screwing the hell out of whoever caught your eye. It meant loading up on $100 bills, heading straight for the Men's Club of Dallas, and purcahasing the longest, wettest, nastiest lap dance money could buy. It meant turning in your scruples at the door. "If you have a weak constitution, Dallas isn't for you," says Ray Horton, the longtime safrety. "I mean, we were holding position meetings at strip clubs. Position meetings!"
Jeff Pearlman, Boys Will be Boys 141-42.

Once, when Dallas came to Washington, Michael Irvin (aka the T.O. of the 1990s) made these comments about an injured Redskins player:
"I'm going after the arm," Michael Irvin responded when asked how he would treat the cast-encased broken right forearm of Washington Cornerback Darrel Green. "I'm not joking. I'm going after his arm. I don't think the arm is healed yet. I don't think the guy's healthy and I'm going after that arm on every running play. I'm not making threats. Those are facts."

Well, payback's always tough. 8.15, Sunday.

Related: When You Cheer for the Redskins, You Cheer for America


Anonymous said...

Only an idiot would call Irvin the "T.O. of the 90's."

t-pain said...

the old-school cowboys seem like some pretty cool guys. . .

Rule 12 (f) said...

uh, read the book. There are some * shocking * similarities between Irvin and T.O.

4tw said...

guys in my high school used to hold position meetings at strip clubs all the time, it was no bid deal.

Anonymous said...

Please just take this post down :(