Monday, January 12, 2009

1月11日隨即的事情: Entering the Best 1 / 2 of Law School, Taking Questions. Also Football.

* IT'S COOL TO STAY IN SCHOOL: Don't forget to show up by next monday and sign into that little book - they threw the book at the last guy who didn't officially register! (And he had a subponea to respond to halfway around the world).

* THE EARLY BIRD GETS THE WORM: Get to courts and commerce A S A P to get your hands on use textbooks, otherwise be prepared to give up whats left of your portfolio for new editions. OR, THE SECOND MOUSE GETS THE CHEESE (?) - Alternatively, hit up the PILA booksale sometime in the future to get textbooks that are repeats - if you go early enough you can find some in good condition - which you should anyway to support them and grab commercial outlines).

How does Donovan do it? Easy is team is named after a bird and from a state that never took arms against the United States!
How does McNabb do it? Easy - his team his named after a bird and from a state that never bore arms against the Union!
NFL SIDEBAR: Speaking of Birds, have you guys noticed how lucky teams named after birds have been in the NFL recently? No less than three wild-card bird teams made it in to the playoffs as wild-cards during the end of the season (the Atlanta Falcons, the Baltimore Ravens, and, against all odds, the Philadelphia Eagles), and a fourth, the Arizona Cardinals, made it in as a division "winner". Teams named after birds have been undefeated in the first two weeks of the playoffs unless they played against a team named after a bird as well (the Cardinals beat the Falcons).

The second thing to note is that teams that are located in former states of the Confederacy have fared extremely poorly in the post season. Consider: Tampa lost it's birth to Philadelphia after getting rocked by Oakland (from California, a free state); Philadelphia meanwhile rocked Dallas in a shocking upset to get to the playoffs; Miami lost in the playoffs to Baltimore (from Maryland, a state that allowed slavery until the 13th Amendment but nonetheless fought for the union), and then Baltimore went on to beat Tennesee, even though the latter was heavily favored; Atlanta lost to Arizona (which never allowed slavery); and then the (North) Carolina Panters lost Arizona as well.

This is two much to chalk up to coindicdence, and there is a clear moral here: (1) The team named after a bird always wins unless that team plays another bird-team. (2) The team playing in a former CSA state always loses.

Thus I offer the following predictions (we don't support gambling, but taking the below teams is literally a licensce to print money for those who would engage in such unscrupulous behavior):

Baltimore Ravens over Pittsburgh Steelers (Bird v. Non-bird team)

The Philadelphia Eagles v. Arizona Cardinals will not be predicted by the formula, because both are bird teams and both are not in the South - we therefore predict a tie, which we previously thought impossible.
* GRADES AREN'T EVERYTHING, THEY'RE - - - -. While we have little to no good advice on how to be succesful in law school we have, in fact, a great deal of advice on how to be successful checking your grades. Consider the following, which range from conjecture and hearsay to absolute fact:
(1) ISIS Is Updated Once Every 24 Hours, When It Is Down Over Night - this means that you don't have to spend the rest of your break and the beginning of the first semester in class (Yes, 1Ls, you will still be waiting for grades when classes start) keying in your Social Security Number because you don't know your student ID number and struggling to remember your ridiculously complicated password that it is different than both your Lawweb password AND your email password AND your password to log on to the CPU lab (they all have different requirements); instead, simply check once in the morning. Better yet, wait for someone in your section to do it and email everyone else.

(2) Course Evaluations Usually, But Do Not Always, Preceed Grades - If the course evaluation shows up, it means that the grades are on the way. But the grades can show up without the course evaluations, so remember to check ISIS.

(3) Checking Grades in Class Is Considered Poor Form - Unless, we say, unless, after you open ISIS popup window you hit "CTRL +" four or five times AND you are checking your grades for the first time (must be a 1L). In that case, gun on, brave sir or madame, gun on.

Good luck to everyone.

* FEBRUARY IS THE WINTER OF OUR DISCONTENT: It seems like every year things hit the fan in February. There is the pyramid scheme of misery journal tryouts and Dillard Fellow Tryouts for the 1Ls, Moot Court and cite checks (and grading the journal tryouts for the 2Ls), and for the 3Ls - well, something, we're sure. Plus classes (and this was going to be the semester where we try to "learn stuff").

* RANDOM: We are quite fond of Chilis Grill & Bar, an American-style casual dining restaurant chain. It's great for a first date, anniversary, family get together, or just sitting quietly by one's self and contemplating the mysteries of the universe. Anyway, everytime we go there we always order the basically the same thing, the "Old Timer Burger", which is 800 k/cal of pure deliciousness (not including the fries that come with it). In Charlottesville, it costs $8.49 (plus tax, tip, et cetra); but in a certain upstate New York town it only costs $6.49! What could possibly account for this difference - it seems especially strange because other cost of living indicators (such as McDonalds prices and Beer Prices) favor Charlottesville by a convincing margin. . . . and two dollars is a lot of money; one could put that money toward lunch at the law school!

See you all soon.


Anonymous said...

The Titans were only favored by 3 my good sir.

Rule 12 (f) said...

It contracted as the game got closer, though, I feel like at one point they were favored by a lot more, no? Admit it, the theory is sound!

Anonymous said...


Rule 12 (f) said...

I apologize my friend, for you have mistook this for a real blog.

Anonymous said...

Dear uvalawblawg-

Course evals wen't up, and grades weren't there the next day. What gives?

Rule 12 (f) said...

Give it one more day. Don't worry.