Wednesday, November 04, 2009

15 minute review: Kentucky Fried Chicken

T-Pain, FFJ, Justincredible, Aquila, Rhino and I sojourned to KFC for their buffet. This KFC is up 29 near Best Buy and World Market. While the group arrived with high hopes for Colonel Sanders's establishment, we were sorely disappointed.

Ambiance: The customers disappointed. Then again, one should hardly be blamed for having only pants with paint splattered on them. Or for only owning shirts that are too small. I don't recall hearing even an instrumental version of "Hero" (or its Spanish stepbrother "Heroe") but music would have helped. Also, styrofoam plates? And you have to ask for additional plates? Come on.
Grade: C+

Decor: Not awesome. Typical fast food plastic chairs and benches militated against the interesting photography featuring the chain's founder. One particularly moving piece found Colonel Sanders adorned in white contemplating life in a green field. T-Pain told a story about gentleman from Kentucky and goats - all present laughed. Lots of signs on the windows selling KFC goods ("$1.99 Big Box!") didn't help.
Grade: B-

Service
: Customers only spoke to team members when ordering and requesting grilled chicken. Team members performed these tasks adequately.
Grade: B+

Food
: Greasy, tasteless, and stomach wrenching. My cohorts and I piled our plates full of mashed potatoes with gravy, chicken breasts and legs, and yams with marshmallows on top. Some off-green vegetables also made the buffet. If you asked if I ate any vegetables at lunch, I would tell you that I had cole slaw which is most definitely located on the bottom of the food pyramid. The biscuits were pretty good. Justincredible and FFJ opined that they felt sick after their meal. I didn't feel any worse then after my usual lunch of deep fryer grease. Wusses. On the positive side, drinks came with the buffet and you could get refills yourself from the soda fountain. Mmmm..... suicide drinks...Coke and Diet Coke and Lipton's Iced Tea and Orange soda in the same glass..... mmmmmm.
Grade: B-

Price: $7.89 (including drink)

Overall Grade: B-

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

thank you for reviewing this obscure eatery, i was unaware of it

Anonymous said...

How does this KFC rate compared to other KFC's?

Anonymous said...

all present laughed - no one reading did

is your 20 minute expose on walmart forthcoming?

J. Crew Model said...

No, but 2500 words about getting with you mom is.

uva3lotdlofwngsl said...

kfc is da realist!

Anonymous said...

MOAR BUFFET REVIEWS!!!

Anonymous said...

GO YANKEES! YESSSSSSSSS! YANKEES WIN, THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YANKEES WIN!

Theron Hesper said...

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Anonymous said...

This was such a lame post it actually attracted a spam bot advertising deep fryers (12:47). Congrats.

Anonymous said...

nice take on the "your mom" joke... "you mom" ... brilliant

Anonymous said...

What a bunch of haters.... you people need to get laid!

Anonymous said...

I can't believe this guy is still allowed to post here. I'm sure it's hard to fill space on a blog, but surely you can do better than this unfunny douche nozzle.

Anonymous said...

shut it down. this blog is over.

FFJ said...

12:49: SAY IT TO HIS FACE!!!!

Anonymous said...

I eat at KFC about two or three times a week, the people who work there are very friendly and will usually give you extra wings if you order the Hot Wings. You all made a mistake going with the buffet as opposed to the 3 Hot Wings or Popcorn Chicken w/ an order of Potato Wedges for 1.99.

Anonymous said...

I think it's a mistake to regularly eat at KFC (or any fast food restaurant). The food is just so unhealthy and expensive compared to what you can make at home.

Friend said...

If you want to go up 29, go to (and review) the Wood Grill Buffet.

Anonymous said...

Looks like t14's Southerly Wind has stepped down, citing the ever vague and intriguing "personal reasons."

http://t14blog.com/2009/10/new-writer-sad-departure/

Also, the Cornell chick went off the deep end and dropped out of LS altogether.

Anonymous said...

I guess she just wasn't cut out for... The Ivy Life.

Anonymous said...

I'll just leave this here.

Anonymous said...

Southerly Wind... is that a fart joke?